That moment when you realize the offbeat lead to a blog post that you have been struggling with since Thanksgiving isn’t really the lead to a blog post, but an offbeat poem that celebrates the particular insanity that grips us between Halloween and Boxer Day.

I say this, fully cognizant of the fact that I am not a poet.

So you must draw your own conclusions:

OH, MAN, THIS WILL NEVER GET DONE

You know how when you start a blog item

And then, like, three days later,

You wake up as if from a trance

And realize

You never posted it 

And now you have to go and change

All

These

Tenses

Because you wrote in the present tense

But time has not stood still

And while you are making

All

These

Changes

Something else comes along

That would make an interesting post

And you become

Paralyzed

Trying to mash it in with your original post

Because you don’t want to throw away

All

That

Hard

Work

And instead of having

A beginning,

A middle,

And an end,

The post takes on the shape of a Christmas tree:

Thin at the top,

Bloated at the bottom,

And with all sorts of shiny, unrelated objects

Hanging off the branches,

And this happens

Over and

Over and

over again?

This is what is called “the holidays.”

Everything happens.

And nothing gets done.