fiction, Rants and raves, Uncategorized, Writings

A MIDNIGHT CULT CLASSIC IS BORN

Prediction: “Melania” will replace “Rocky Horror Picture Show” as the super-cult favorite in midnight screenings.

A new generation seeking a cult flick of their own will come in drag, with Russian spy accents, wearing iconic Melania outfits. Some — who can pull it off — will come dressed like Melania in the semi-naked private jet photos.

Fans will wave replicas of the Einstein green card with the ex-escort’s name on them. They will shout “Epstein” instead of “Einstein.” Some will carry dead roses in memory of the White House Rose Garden (aka parking lot patio).

They will throw popcorn when Trump enters the frame, and when Melania urges all to be caring and compassionate, the entire audience will scream, “I don’t care, do you?”

Popular songs that can be sung together include: “Roxanne” by The Police, “Killer Queen” by Queen, and “Prostitute” from Guns N’ Roses.

We, the management of the Bijou Theatre of Obscure Black and White Movies, welcome your suggestions. We urge you not to bring alcohol into the theatre — but a little weed is cool.

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fiction, Rants and raves, San Miguel de Allende, Writings

Trump in exile: To the dacha we go, over wide and drifting snow

He awoke with a sharp grunt. Like someone had kicked him in the balls.

Come to think of it, it hurt down there, too. And he had to pee. Again.

“Driver,” he called to the front of the black town car. “Pull over. I have to piss again.”

“Can you hold it for about 10 minutes, Mr. Trump? This is a pretty bad place to pull over.”

“President. I told you to refer to me as President Trump. I don’t want to say it again.”

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