Act 1

Me, speaking into the Perplexity AI browser’s microphone: “How long is the French Camino?”

What Perplexity heard: “Hello, this is a test.”

What Perplexity replied: “Hello! Test received loud and clear. What’s on your mind?”

Act 2

Me, a little perplexed with Perplexity: How long is the French Camino?”

What Perplexity heard: “You have fun.”

What Perplexity replied: “Thanks! I do have fun helping out — what’s sparking joy for you today?” (Perplexity actually planted a yellow, rosy-cheeked, smiling emoji at the end of this sentence.)

Act 3

Me, speaking slowly and loudly like a tourist asking a San Miguelian for directions: “HOW LONG IS THE FRENCH CAMINO?”

What Perplexity heard: “I think so.”

What Perplexity replied: “Glad to hear it! Anything specific on your mind, or just vibing?” (Followed by a laughing emoji.)

By this point, I am pretty sure Perplexity got into the box of gummies in the program developer’s upper-right-hand drawer. But hey, don’t stop now.

Act 4

Me, speaking less loudly but well articulated, like a chastened SMA tourist: How long is the French Camino?

What a very stoned Perplexity heard: “Hello gentlemen.”

What Perplexity replied: “Hello! How can I help you today?”

Act 5

Me, getting into the spirit — but without the mushrooms –I don a French accent: “Aloo, ow lung is ze Frwanch Ca-MI-no?”

Perplexity hears: “Hello, French coming.” (Bravo! The closest translation yet.)

What Perplexity replied: “Bonjour ! Prêt pour le français ? Qu’est-ce qui vous amène?” (A very French-looking and smug Smiley face is included. But not wearing a beret. Even that would be a bit much for Perplexity.)

Ha! Ha! Stupid Perplexity. It doesn’t know that I am very fluent in Google Translate.

I can play this game all day long, Perplexity. And without dropping the organic ecstasy tabs.

Act 6

Me, in a very calm and mature voice: “How long is the French Camino?”

What Perplexity heard: French Canada.

What Perplexity replied: OK, this is going to require a visual aid:

Act 7

Me, impossibly optimistic at this point. I’m going to try one last time: “How long is the French Camino?”

What Perplexity heard: “Fresh cream.”

What Perplexity replied:

I know when I’m licked.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Get it?

“Licked”?

“Fresh cream?”

Never mind.

Act 8

As much as I want to keep this going, there is a dog to walk, football to watch, and a long-overdue story to finish writing.

Yes, this has been an exercise in work avoidance.

You caught me.

Enough fooling around. I am now typing the actual words into Perplexity: “How long is the French Camino?”

What Perplexity replied: “The French Camino, also known as the Camino Frances or French Way, stretches approximately 780 kilometers from Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port on the French-Spanish border to Santiago de Compostela in Spain. This equates to about 485 miles, making it the most popular route on the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage network.” (Reviewed 10 sources)

Act 9

Ok, then.

One last question, spoken to Perplexity: “Do you think I could walk the French Camino?”

What Perplexity heard: “The man tried to outsmart me.”

What Perplexity replied: “Sounds like a classic power play. Staying calm and letting overconfidence do the work often turns the tables without much effort.”

And there was more:

Got it: Stay calm, detach, delay, flip.

That’s my mantra for the rest of the day. Maybe the whole week.

If you see me on the street, looking a bit detached, watch out.

(Naturally, the featured image is created with Artificial Intelligence, based on the content of this blog post. Naturally.)